| How
to Run a Personal Problem Group |
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This “How to Run a Group” piece
is the essence of RT for me. This is the part I have to have with me, in
my head or on a 3 X 5 card in my pocket, when I am in a group session. This
is what makes it work. There are 3 main parts: the opening, the work, and closing. 1. The Opening. The purpose is to ‘bring everyone into the room’. a. Optionally we might start with some kind of physical or movement (non-verbal) exercise. Helps to reduce physical tension and to relax. b. Sharing spaces – a few words about our mood, attitude, and what circumstances we left behind. This helps to reduce confusion and paranoia in the other participants. c. Contract for time. Each person asks for a number of minutes and generally states what they want to work on and an idea of how they want to do that work, if they have some idea about that. If the total number of minutes is greater than the time allowed, then negotiations take place so that it fits into the time available. 2. The Work. Each individual takes her/his turn. If they reach the end of the time they contracted for and feel they need more time, then the process is stopped and the use of the remaining time is negotiated. 3. The Closing. This part is critically important. What happens in the closing determines how people feel when they leave the group; “What they are left with”; Attitudes about themselves, the others in the group, and the group as a whole. This section is complicated = multifaceted. Care must be taken to cover each part. a. Unclear feelings. Anything that happened during the meeting that was confusing or caused uncertainty. b. Paranoid fantasies. “When you said …, I thought/felt …” This is a chance to clear up any misunderstandings, which could lead to bad feelings and resentments. c. Held resentments. When feelings aren’t expressed or communicated when they occur, they become ‘charged’; the anger builds up. It becomes difficult and scary to state or hear the resentment. Rules are established to create safety. The person with the resentment must get the permission of the other person before they share the resentment. If the person on the receiving end feels that they are not in a strong enough position to hear the resentment, they can refuse to hear it. In this case a future time is agreed upon when the resentment can be delivered. This would most likely be in the safety of the next PSG meeting. If the recipient of the resentment is willing to hear it, then they agree to not respond to the resentment. This enhances the safety of the interchange. The person with the resentment knows that they will be heard and that the other person will not go on the defensive and counter attach. The person receiving the resentment doesn’t have to defend or explain what they did or said. So, the resentment is safely shared and any work that needs to be done around the issue can be dealt with at the next meeting. d. Strokes. [see Claude Steiner’s discussion about the stroke economy] End on a high, positive tone. Verbal strokes. Compliments. Acknowledging another's accomplishments. Self strokes. Complimenting yourself on what you did or learned. Physical strokes. Hugs.
Summary
Problem-solving groups require a commitment
to the weekly meetings. The
commitment is month to month. When a person decides to leave a group, this
termination is handled in the group. If someone stops coming without discussing
it in the group, this makes people crazy (paranoid). "Was it something
I did or said?" If the reason for leaving has something to do with
an interaction with another group member, this can (and must) be dealt with
in the group, and perhaps the decision to leave will be reconsidered. Very
often misunderstandings or miscommunications can prompt thoughts of termination.
The risk of harm to either party is too great, and the opportunity to grow
and learn is too valuable to be lost.
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